How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?

Given that a woodchuck could chuck wood

Stephen Lavelle

This is just a pretty rough sketch of how i would go about it – but it should get the point across.

Given a chucking distance of 1m (seems reasonable) – and a woodchuck of mass 3.3kg (roughly avr. mass), the maximum energy that this wood chuck could have for throwing wood is:

e=mc²
e=3.3*(3*10^8)²=2.97*10¹⁷

minimum velocity required to chuck a piece of wood 1m :

s=ut+0.5at²

max efficiency at 45 degrees

(1,0)=(2^-0.5)(V,V)+0.5(0,-9.8)(t²);

(2^-0.5)=V=0.707

so E=1/2mv² …looking for m

2.97*10¹⁷=0.5*m*(0.707²)

roughly 1*10¹⁸ kg of wood could potentially be chucked by a woodchuck operating at maximum efficiency (this is only an approximate maximum limit).

Here’s a basic diagram for apparatus for carrying out the procedure:

There are some other important things to consider as well:

1:This sort of mad chucking would annihilate the woodchuck in the process, and so would be ethically a less than clear-cut question.

2:There is reasonable cause to increase the limit further, because one could allow the woodchuck to eat if his chucking was spread out over a non-singular time, and that would increase the amount he could chuck
(though by a negligible magnitude, which is why i don’t consider it here).

3:Considering the size of a woodchuck, the chucking distance could easily be reduced to half a meter and still be considered a chuck.

4:We currently do not have the technology to carry out this great a reaction, though i am currently applying for funding for a timber/groundhog collider, a massive underground structure 30 kilometers in diameter, to be built in the west of ireland (yes, the west of ireland is greater than 40 kilometers in diameter, or so a detailed inspection i conducted last year reported). This would allow me to test my above upper limit hypothesis to a high degree of accuracy.