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After the Ball was Over?

Note: I’m no longer the same variety of pedant that I am in my post below. There is a collection of different versions of these lyrics in the comments thread, which is fascinating, and seems to have taken on a life of its own. Feel free to contribute your own versions, if you know of any different.

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This logico-temporal monstrosity has irked me for quite a long time.

I will first quote the song:

“After the ball was over
Nellie took out her glass eye
Put her false teeth in water
Corked up her bottle of dye
Put her false leg in the corner
Hung up her wig on the door
And all that is left goes to bye byes
After the ball”

I have a problem with the first line.

think about the time period in which “the ball was over”…now, let’s say that the ball finished last night. That means that the ball is now over. It also could be said any time in the future that the ball is over, because it has finished…so the time period implied by that fragment is unbounded as it extends into the future. It stretches out forever into the future.

Now look at the first word, “after”.

!!!!!!

How on earth can there exist a time after the ball was over (and don’t get me started on the fact that it’s in the past tense)…when the ball will never stop being over once it has finished!!!

Damn stupid song…all songwriters should have to do courses in logic… .

22 Comments

  1. G. P. Hall wrote:

    I learned the song from an old WWI veteran in the 1950’s. He had a bunch of them.
    After the ball was over

    Friday, January 23, 2015 at 1:02 am | Permalink
  2. G. P. Hall wrote:

    I learned the song from an old WWI veteran in the 1950’s. He had a bunch of them.
    After the ball was over Sadie took out her glass eye; Stood her wooden leg in the corner; hung out her hair to dry; Put her false teeth in some water; nailed her wax ear to the wall; there wasn’t much left of poor Sadie; after the balllll.

    Friday, January 23, 2015 at 1:04 am | Permalink
  3. I heard it like this:

    After the ball was over,
    Mary took ou!r glass eye,
    Put her false teeth in the tumbler,
    Hung her hair up to dry,
    Put her peg leg in the corner,
    Hung her ear on the wall,
    That is what happened to mary after the ball!
    Lol! Now that’s funny! Lmao

    Sunday, March 22, 2015 at 2:11 pm | Permalink
  4. Mitch wrote:

    In 1974 a 93 year old man taught me the song. I doubt many of those who have made comments on the song can go back that far with only one single contact; thus, it is fair to say this version likely is much closer tot the original version.

    “After the ball was over,
    Minnie took out her glass eye.
    Put her false teeth in cold water,
    Hung up her wig to dry.
    Stood her cork leg in the corner,
    Screwed her tin ear, from her head.
    Then what was left of poor Minnie,
    Crept slowly under the bed.”

    Mitch

    Tuesday, April 14, 2015 at 2:42 am | Permalink
  5. Kitty wrote:

    This song was in the written in Georgian times England. Women back then (those that could afford to go to balls) wore so much white lead make up that eye would fall out. Teeth for rich people eating all that sugar had false teeth. Wigs where big and covered in lice so hanging out to dry. Due to lead and other poisons used in make up would problem course you to loose lims mostly legs.

    This was written to in support of act passed that basically if a women made herself out to be prittier than she really was and never told the guy he could device her.

    Like I said its historical England and history is gruesome.

    Friday, May 15, 2015 at 11:52 pm | Permalink
  6. philippa dean wrote:

    I am hoping to sing “after the ball is over” (the humorous version) at my local singing group’s next concert. The one my mum loved singing to us as kids in the 50s was very similar to the ones I’ve read, but the ending, which I like the best, goes like this:
    Nobody recognised nellie, after the ball. I’m going to try and write a couple of my own verses. I’ll add them the website,or do a blog.

    Wednesday, May 20, 2015 at 5:57 pm | Permalink
  7. Bob Bowers wrote:

    This is the way I’ve been singing it for 50 years.

    After the ball was over
    Maggie took out her glass eye
    Put her false teeth in the water
    Hung up her wig to dry
    Stood her peg leg in the corner
    Hung her wax ear on the wall
    Nothing was left of Maggie
    After the ball

    Tuesday, June 2, 2015 at 11:39 pm | Permalink
  8. Ern Bennett wrote:

    Well known in Australia in 40-50’s. Much of the lady’s bits, as I recall, were put on a chair and I remember the last two lines as:
    SO I slept on the chair.
    There was more of her there,
    After the ball.

    Thursday, June 11, 2015 at 5:43 am | Permalink
  9. Lesley Storr wrote:

    My mum used to sing this to me when I was small. This is how I remember it…
    After the ball is over
    See her take out her glass eye
    Put her false teeth in water
    Cork up her bottle of dye
    Prop her false leg in the corner
    Hang up her wig on the wall
    And all that is left goes to bye-byes
    After the ball

    Wednesday, June 24, 2015 at 7:21 am | Permalink
  10. janet wrote:

    After the Ball was over
    Suzie took out her glass eye…
    Put her old wig on the table
    Washed off her bucket of dye…
    Put her false teeth in the water
    Hung her cork leg on the wall..
    And all that was left went to nigh-nigh
    After the ball

    Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 3:57 am | Permalink
  11. Maureen wrote:

    After the ball was over
    Joanie took out her glass eye
    Put her false teeth in the water
    And hung up her wig to dry
    Put her peg leg in the corner
    Stuck her wax ear to the wall
    Then what was left of her crawled into bed.
    After the ball.

    Tuesday, October 6, 2015 at 3:49 am | Permalink
  12. CHARLOTTE wrote:

    My mom use to sing this version

    After the ball was over
    She took her glass eye out,
    Put her false teeth in water
    And hung out her wig to dry.
    Put her left leg in the corner
    Put her right arm in the draw,

    Then crept into bed like a Lady,
    After The Ball

    Saturday, January 16, 2016 at 11:02 pm | Permalink
  13. joey wrote:

    I remember my grandmother would sing it to me to calm us down. Wasn’t until later in life I realized how twisted it was lol

    After the ball was over
    Mary took out her glass eye
    Put her false teeth in water
    Hung her hair up to dry
    Put her wood leg in the corner
    Hung her tin ear on the wall
    And the rest of poor mary was slumbering after the ball

    Tuesday, March 15, 2016 at 3:42 am | Permalink
  14. Linda Howson wrote:

    My paternal Mennonite grandmother used to sing it like this when I was about 5, I’m now 61.

    After the ball was over,
    Maggie took out her glass eye,
    Put her false teeth in some water,
    Hung up her wig to dry,
    Set her wooden leg in the corner,
    Slapped her wax ear on the wall,
    That’s all that was left of poor Maggie,
    Af-ter the ball.

    Wednesday, June 8, 2016 at 4:45 am | Permalink
  15. Ed Lauriault wrote:

    My father was a WWI vet and sang this to me when I was a boy. It was most similar to comment#2 in that it ended

    “There wasn’t much left of poor Katy after the ball.”

    However, I remember the second line being. “After the guests were gone” and 4th line as being “Katie went up to her room”. Also “she threw her peg leg in the corner” which is different from set, put, stood, etc.
    Wish I remembered it all the way he sang it.

    Saturday, December 24, 2016 at 10:33 pm | Permalink
  16. G. Stemple wrote:

    “After the ball was over,
    Maggie took out her glass eye,
    Put her false teeth in water,
    Hung up her wig to dry,
    Put her Peg Leg in the corner,
    Hung her waxed ear on the wall,
    There wasn’t much left of Maggie
    after the ball.”

    Saturday, May 20, 2017 at 1:04 pm | Permalink
  17. Marie wrote:

    After the ball was over
    She took out her glass eye
    Popped her false teeth into water
    Shook from her hair the night
    Propped her false leg in the corner
    Stripped of her false nails and all
    What was left but to bye byes
    After the ball

    Thursday, June 8, 2017 at 10:40 pm | Permalink
  18. Ann S wrote:

    What a delight to read all these! My remembered version:

    After the ball was over
    Katie took out her glass eye,
    Put her false teeth in the water,
    Hung out her out her wig to dry;
    Threw her wood leg in the corner,
    Hung her tin ear on the wall-
    The rest of poor Katie went bye-bye
    Af-ter the ball.

    Wednesday, August 23, 2017 at 11:58 am | Permalink
  19. FM wrote:

    These first few lines are sung in an episode of “Maude” (1972/3):

    After the ball is over
    Mary takes out her glass eye
    Puts her false teeth in cold water…

    The character is in her late 40s & remembers the song from her college sorority days

    Tuesday, September 26, 2017 at 9:33 pm | Permalink
  20. evelyn ashlin wrote:

    My Dad served in the British Army in WWI. He had a beautiful voice and sand all those English music hall songs.My favorite was Nellie at the Ball(not Mary, Katie, Maggie etc…)The lyrics were similar to the above, but I like my Dad’s ending the best.. “And all that was left of Nellie,
    Was left to dream of the ball!”

    Thursday, November 30, 2017 at 5:00 pm | Permalink
  21. Aileen Pennington wrote:

    After the ball was over ,see her take out her glass eye,put her false teeth in the tumbler ,hang up her wig to dry .put her false leg in the corner and all that was left crept into the bed after the ball ..

    Sunday, January 7, 2018 at 6:21 am | Permalink
  22. Gill wrote:

    I was sung this when I was little back in the 50s.

    My parent’s version was:

    After the Ball was over
    Nellie took out her glass eye
    Then she took out her false teeth
    and hung up her wig to dry
    Then she took off her false leg
    and stood it against the wall
    Then all that was left of her went to bed
    After the Ball

    Wednesday, April 25, 2018 at 9:56 pm | Permalink